A triathlete again.

I did it, friends! I drank a free beer today! Of course at the cost of finishing my first triathlon in Colorado and with that, my first in four years. I struggled through the swim, as always. That whole washing machine effect kills me. Gets the anxiety up and makes actual swimming a bit of a chore. I started at the very back of the pack, which helps with the anxious factor but not so much the catch up game. I got out of the water feeling strong and super excited to jump on my bike and give the wheels their first real good roll for their money.

Though I loved every second of today’s ride, getting off the bike and onto my feet is ALWAYS my favorite part of the tri, regardless of how great the ride was. I have a thing for running when I’m already beat up and man, I love running folks down who’d been kicking my tri shorts in all morning, otherwise…

Today was quite interesting on my feet, surely being my hardest effort since the calf injury, but man, reeling in whoever I could and cheering on the few who had it to sneak by… I was surely back in my glory.

Today’s finish line was SUCH a pleasure. I am looking SO extremely forward to building on this, re-learning some technique, training more and with that, harder… I have such a positive outlook after today’s go and am just so excited.

Boulder is a beautiful place to race, BBSC puts on a great event, Boulder Beer Co. is amazing for sharing their product and the only other thing that made today such a memorable valuable experience that it couldn’t have been without is, of course, the support of my wonderful girlfriend through this incredible journey and the presence of my new good friend and dare I say it, “training partner”, Luke…

Tri Boulder was a success. And gradual as this journey may be, I’m ecstatic to admit, I am a triathlete again. Here’s to another chapter in this ridiculous book I call, My Life.

 

Into the mountains

Finally got into the mountains last week. Managed some imagery here that I was excited to take home and share. I’ve never seen Columbines like we saw out there that day. It was a fantastic hike up to Herman Gulch to Herman Lake. The weather was just right. The trail wasn’t overly crowded. And the sights were beautifully plentiful. Link below to the All Trails tracks to scope the GPS data, route and reviews.

Herman Gulch to Herman Lake

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Remembering the importance in risk

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Today, I handed Lynette my camera and asked her to take a couple photos of me getting roudy on the adult playground at 12k feet.  I’m glad I did.

When I look at back at this photo I think about what today really was. There were moments I was sad, angry, anxious, scared, happy, elated, enlightened… So much thought – SO many feelings.

Lynette and I did a rock solid 10 mile hike with my brother, in which I got to run a whole bunch. Back to her to check up and make sure she was still great and enjoying herself. Back up to him, a couple hundred meters ahead huffing at his first trip into the high country this year.

It wasn’t until now, looking back at the photos from the day, that I’m beginning to make sense of what the mountains really are to me. They’re my new muse. The thing I know the least about but as of late have seemingly desired the most. They scare me and make me anxious, especially when I can’t control my own well being while in them, or simply just the elements around me.

I’m realizing now, how important these trips into the unknown are for me to stay motivated through a time where mostly everything else in life has left me feeling an unfortunate blunder of repetitiveness – redundant – burned out – like I have no options and nothing to to spark that imagination that once fueled my desire to being bigger and better every day I was awake.

The mountains, at least as of now, are doing that for me. Peeling me from a downward spiral and reminding me what it is to take risks and dive in, not preemptively knowing the outcome – serious as it may be – and being intrigued… moved… terrified of that.

The mountains called me and I came. However long this stay may be, this fuel may burn, so be what it is. But for now I’m enjoying and learning how to be that wild, risk-taking believer I use to be. With any luck at all, the time I spend puting myself through whatever it is I am out there, will reflect massively on the life I show up to partake in the other five days of the week. Maybe I’ll even surprise myself and start living THAT part of my life with a new light and passion. The same way I have on the trails.

Just a quick one

Got out on and around Green Mountain in Golden this morning. I laid in bed contemplating the run, like I do, usually to no avail, so often as of late since starting the CPAP. But then I read some inspirational words by a friend that got my ass in gear and out the door for a real nice jaunt on the hill. Lots of friendly folks out this morning. Beat the heat. Got back and had an ice pop. Pretty flawless, I’d say.

Just throwing it out there: I’ve started a new social media venture. It is called The Runner’s Closet and will host gear introductions, reviews, race rants, trail route offerings, so on and so on. Idea is, I WILL NOT be responsible for the bulk of it and though it may take some time to get rolling to become what I’d like for it to be, it will be a shared community effort. Reposts of what others feel others can’t be without. The things we all use and why. There is SO much capitalism and consumerism in the running industry and as much as I’ve always tried to steer clear from it and run away as affordably as possible… Until I realized. I’m addicted. I love it. I spend so much money on running every year, because it’s truly something I enjoy spending money ON. It’s a rad hobby and enjoyable to get into. AND it doesn’t have to be ALL that expensive either. So with that, I figured, why not make a forum where we can all get together and post and share what it is about the things we spend out money on and use doing the one thing we love most? Find it on Instagram at @therunnerscloset.Screen Shot 2016-07-30 at 10.08.15 AM.png

Just spent night 2 with the CPAP. I realize, I haven’t explained what’s lead to this unforutnate turn of sleeping events, however, what I will say at this point is that I’m so unhappy with sleep. Sleep and I are not on good terms right now. Got out on Green Mt this morning and man did I need that. I’m sore, tired and super fatigued. But some big long breaths on the summit this morning was just what the doctor ordered – actually, no. The doctor ordered artifical breathing through a rubber tube. I guess it was me that ordered the breaths on the mountain. Learning to deal with it.IMG_2626.jpg

Greetings From…

Today I am proud to have released new music for the first time in years that speaks volumes of where my heart and mind are at. These songs are a collection of nostalgic feelings with the one off hokey joke here or there. I’ve attempted to take it back and represent myself, once again, with the sound that taught me what loving music was all about. The art designed by a great buddy of mine, Adam Cutrone, is an homage to a place that put me on the map not just a kid with a dream, but a lost boy with a home. Though hesitant, I’m learning to admit that my days in this place and time are likely numbered, but out here, in Neverland, I’ll continue referencing these happy thoughts as a means to fly high and continue on knowing that home is there as I left it and will always be.

Listen to the music

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It’s been some time

I bailed on wordpress for a while to cheat with squarespace. Turns out I don’t like paying $10/mo for something I can’t even stay consistent with.

I was just home in New Jersey for 2 weeks. Ran a couple 5k’s. Spent quality time with friends and family. Since I’ve gotten back I’ve had the urge to try some new stuff. Getting over a calf strain, but getting back on the trails tonight. Here’s to new direction.

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Glorious winter life

I’m just go ahead and interrupt your current feed of nonsense (Blink 182 break up/Bust of an east coast winter storm) to mention something right quick.

I’m not bragging. I’m not talking training. I’m not going any further than just straight up confessing that I’ve been in Colorado for 9 months. The amount of time in which I could have gotten prego and popped one out.

Over the last two days, I had possibly the most enjoyable moments I’ve had since moving to Colorado.

70+ degrees in January. Runs in shorts and teeshirts. New places with good friends and close friends visiting from home. Long overdue and strictly desired time with the girlfriend in the Colorado sun (she glows when the sun is strong). Photos of the sun illuminating my life. Miles on miles on my legs, heart and mind. The run group keeping me grinding and the idea that going back to work tomorrow after my best two days in this state is actually pleasurable. I get to regroup with the folks that, these days, are likely to know me best, because when I’ve been gone for more than a lunch break they know to ask me what I’ve been up to… Not in the casual sense, but because they know I may not be an artist, but I’ll surely do the best I can to, with words, paint only the picture most deserving to tell the story of just what I’ve laid my eyes on over the last couple days. They know I’m not here because I have to be but because I’ve done everything possible in my life to be sure this is where I’d end up.

I’ve said it a million times, and I’m cruising toward my billionth…

With all my heart, I love where I live. There is just so much desire here… So much LIFE. I can only wish you all get to feel something like this at some point. This is a photo I took from a run yesterday through one of the most brilliant landscapes I’ve been blessed to view locally yet.

IMG_4196As if I don’t stress it enough: get outside and see what this planet has to offer. There is FAR too much to miss. A sunset. A sunrise. A crashing wave or a snow capped mountain. Maybe just the neighborhood pup trotting by on it’s first walk out doors or the fawn on it’s first chance to graze on your local trail. Get outdoors and understand what it’s about.

It’s life enriching.

Just live the life you’re looking for.

i took today for granted. i woke up and ran with a good buddy at a park i don’t get to often. the effort was fun. we talked about work, running, life, inspiration and passion.

i headed down to soopers and grocery shopped in my muddy running tights.

i headed home and got productive. cooked, cleaned and laundered.

i prepped myself mentally and physically for some more miles and then went to share just a short, but long, four and a half miles with some of the most reliable people you could ask for in life when it comes to a “lift me up”…

the climb was awesome, the snow was glorious; it fueled me with this feeling of invulnerability. nothing was stopping me, but anyone could join.

something about today felt like such an average day, but when i looked back at the end, i realized how much it wasn’t, and how unordinary my life actually is. i work, like every one (or mostly everyone) and i focus my time, otherwise, on complete and total quality of living. the reason today felt so standard was because i refuse to live by any OTHER standard than the one that focuses on one very specific detail: QUALITY OF LIFE.

put yourself in the place you need to be to do, every day, just the things you care to.

live simple and prosper.

Enduring the year (perhaps the toughest yet)

364 days ago, I avoided making a New Years resolution and speaking of all the things I’d hope to accomplish in the coming year. Progress was a must and assumed. Instead, I made a statement. The statement was that:

“In 2014, I will endure…”

This past year I lost my amazing and beloved Sadie. The family member of a pup that shared with me, the most glorious years of my life.

I struggled internally with career decisions.

I picked up my things and moved 1,800 miles away from home and all the things and people that mean the world to me.

I watched an incredibly close friend and brother lose a mother that meant more to her family than most people could ever understand. Bless the Gentile family. Some of the best people I’ve had the pleasure of calling family.

I got sick to the point I’d lay in bed at night and wonder if “this is it”…

I recovered and showed up at the start line of my first marathon through the magical desert trails of Moab.

I’ve learned to run for hours through the rocky, brilliant trails of Golden, Colorado and let my mind be so free that the only thing to matter is that the earth is still beneath me and my heart is still beating.

I’ve come to terms with the possibility that depression may not be such a far off possibility in my life. Only mentioning it for the first time publicly right now, I vow to continue doing what I do every day, exactly as I want it. This is the life I’ve chosen and it’s the one that makes me happiest. Though it has its hardships, living the life I do makes me feel I’ve got my purpose here that only continues to grow with each and every step of the way.

In 2014, I’m pretty sure I’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of what life is REALLY about. This coming year, I’ll turn 30. I am nothing short of dead serious when I say I am going to welcome the next decade of my life with a bigger bang and a more incredible explosion than I would have ever planned before.

This past year, I surely did ‘endure’… But honestly I’ve a sort of interesting feeling the ‘enduring’ has just begun.

Happy New Year. May it be healthy and prosperous and spent doing all the things you love the most.