Today, I handed Lynette my camera and asked her to take a couple photos of me getting roudy on the adult playground at 12k feet. I’m glad I did.
When I look at back at this photo I think about what today really was. There were moments I was sad, angry, anxious, scared, happy, elated, enlightened… So much thought – SO many feelings.
Lynette and I did a rock solid 10 mile hike with my brother, in which I got to run a whole bunch. Back to her to check up and make sure she was still great and enjoying herself. Back up to him, a couple hundred meters ahead huffing at his first trip into the high country this year.
It wasn’t until now, looking back at the photos from the day, that I’m beginning to make sense of what the mountains really are to me. They’re my new muse. The thing I know the least about but as of late have seemingly desired the most. They scare me and make me anxious, especially when I can’t control my own well being while in them, or simply just the elements around me.
I’m realizing now, how important these trips into the unknown are for me to stay motivated through a time where mostly everything else in life has left me feeling an unfortunate blunder of repetitiveness – redundant – burned out – like I have no options and nothing to to spark that imagination that once fueled my desire to being bigger and better every day I was awake.
The mountains, at least as of now, are doing that for me. Peeling me from a downward spiral and reminding me what it is to take risks and dive in, not preemptively knowing the outcome – serious as it may be – and being intrigued… moved… terrified of that.
The mountains called me and I came. However long this stay may be, this fuel may burn, so be what it is. But for now I’m enjoying and learning how to be that wild, risk-taking believer I use to be. With any luck at all, the time I spend puting myself through whatever it is I am out there, will reflect massively on the life I show up to partake in the other five days of the week. Maybe I’ll even surprise myself and start living THAT part of my life with a new light and passion. The same way I have on the trails.